Pressure or Hormones?!?!

Okay, Here's My Deal....#2 for the day

I think by the time Friday gets here I will be a puddle. Everything just seems to be mounting and I am not sure I am ready for it all. Tired is the key word for me right now and I am not up for a lot of action. I mean, going to the store for cat food the otehr day after dropping my son off at the sitter was enough to wipe me out for a few hours.

This week is going to be crazy...

• Tomorrow is lunch with a friend which won't be too bad.
• Tuesday I have no big plans, which is good.
• Wednesday, my husband will be out of town almost the entire day, at the end of which he will be picking up his mom and stepdad who will be here to help out for a couple of weeks...which, I honestly do appreciate, I do, really. I mean, I know I will need help and I will be grateful.
• Thursday, well, that is our pre-op visit with the OB/GYN and we may even try to squeeze in a visit to the pediatrician for our son's eye which has been bothering him we think. My husband tells me to probably expect that we will be going out ot eat somewhere nice at the treat of my in-laws...hope I am up for it after the pre-op and then possibly the ped...and it will be an early supper because the appointment is at 2:20. This is important to his folks, I think for a variety of reasons and I don't want to disappoint...I know that their thinking is that I won't be up to it soon after because of the surgery, but they will be ehre for two weeks, second but-but I hope I am up for it right then after the appointment(s?). This is where ithink the hormones are kicking in and I am being unrational--I know that they mean well and want ot do whatever tehy can for us and are really thinking of me being tired later, but I wonder if they understand how tired I am now?! I guess I just have to relax, go with the flow and let nature take its course. And, if I am too tired, I should just speak up...but then I am afraid it will set a bad tone for the rest of the visit. Then it is go home after that and wait for my parents to arrive that evening for a vist. But, it does have to be an early night because--
• Friday at 5:30 in the a.m. we need to leave for the hospital for the birth. My husband is already stressing about how my mom will react to his mom...too many issues to get into there, but I keep telling him that if she does have a deal with it, that is her problem and I am not going to worry about it at all. I have learned, well, 97% of the time anyway, to just let her have her deal and let is run its course and all will be better later. Then in the early evening my brother and his wife will join us at the hospital--they are unable to come for the actual birth becasue they don't ahve enough days left to take off from their jobs due to church mission trips to New Orleans and a three year anniverary trip to Hawaii to get away from it all...even though they knew about the baby long before they planned any of that. This doesn't set well with my husband, or, honestly me, but I ahve learned to understand taht they have their own lives and make their own choices. Besides, and here are those hormones again, his sister and her boyfriend won't be coming either...but they were able to take a few trips of their own this year to get away from it all even though they also knew about the baby. Well, they also have their own lives and make their own choices.

I guess everything that I am gousing about is really nothing to be so keyed up about and the stress is most likely not good for me or the baby. It just seems taht something so wonderful as the birth of a second child to our family is being clouded by everything else. And, I am sure even though he doesn't express it like I do, my husband is under much the same stress and pressure if not more right now, so when he reads this I am sure it won't help. I could jsut talk to him and that would probably be the best, but then he will want to talk to them and then they will feel weird or not wanted and then taht will cloud the trip...AAAUUUGGGHHH. It is just a viscious cycle that I didn't intend to happen. Besides, I would just be a puddle of tears if I brought i up anyway, and I am sure I will be if he talks to me about it when he reads this, so waht would be the difference?

Oh, well, my hormones would let me go one and one for a long time I am sure, but I need to get some rest and try and take my mind off of all of these things I cannot control and aren't really my deals to begin with. It is just wehn you love everyone in your family so much and want them to be happy, it is hard because you know it is not possible all of the time.