~#$%^&* Dog!!

Okay, Here's My Deal...

The dog is outside. If it were up to me, he'd be outside forever--preferably somewhere else and not here. Just when I think he is not so bad, he just torks me off to no end. Now, he is a big dog...purebred lab...so when eh drinks from his water dish, you know it and it is a very distinct sound.

I am sitting on the couch with my 2 week old son, who is sleeping, well, like a baby on my chest when I hear what I thought at first was the dog drinking.

No, wait, that just doesn't sound right. What the heck is he doing? One two -- OH CRAP -- I bolted up to find he had just finished peeing all over the floor right by the door!! He had not barked or paced or wimpered or whined that he needed to go out--he just decided to pee everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!

As soon as he saw me come around the corner he knew his a$$ was grass because he hung his head low and put his tail between his legs...I kicked his butt once (or twice...three times?)then put my son down in the crib and came back to beat him some more then let him out of the door...after having to walk through his business to get there!! Then I went outside and put him on the chain. I then came back in...trailing through it again and then got a towel to sop it up and then the Swiffer to clean the rest.

I then found a container to put some water in for him for the day so that the nosy neighbor lady won't knock on my door to tell me he has no water. He was barking up a storm, so I went out to check and sure enough, he ad knocked over the container. To quote Dwayne LaFonTante (the Verminator from the movie "Over the Hedge") I said, "So, you want to party do ya?!" and got a huge rock, hosed it off and put it inthe container, filled it with water again and said, "Let's see you knock that over, you #$%^ing dog!!"

Now I am off to wash my feet to get any remains off of them and try to relax before the baby wakes up again.