Caution: I Do Not Belong in the Kitchen

Okay, Here's My Deal...

I do not know why they (whoever they are...) allow me in the kitchen. Ever.

For years now, I have been the designated pie baker for Thanksgiving. Not sure why I still have the job because every year something goes wrong. Every year.

I always make three pies: pumpkin, spicy pumpkin and some sort of fruit. This year, I am modifying the old Meatloaf song...two out of three ARE bad!!! And by bad, I mean, looking--they are still edible.

First, I make a cherry pie with a lattice crust. Now, it began just fine. I even found a shortcut to make the lattice. Monopoly hotels. Yeah--I just used one to cut out litle rectangles in a checkerboard sort of way and it looked good. I put it in the oven and set the timer for a little less than what the can said because the oven tends to cook quickly (I think it runs hot) and I check it. The outside of the crust is done and I mean DONE, while the innermost is still a little doughy. If I cook it much longer ot get the inside done, the outside will be ash, so I take it out.

Second, the "regular" pumpkin. I went to Aldi's...my first choice when we are a little poorer than normal...and they have the solid pack pumpkin and not the complete mix, which is okay, as I have done this before with success. I mix it up and wa-laa, it fits nicely into the pan. Weird, I think because I usually have some left over...oh, well. Pop it in the oven and go to clean the counter off and what do I see but the evaporated milk that I forgot to put into the mix!! No wonder there was none left over. So, I take out the pan and pour the mix back into the bowl and add the milk. Of course, now the crust has mix on it and it will most certainly burn. I fill it up and of course, I almost overflow the dish. I carefully go to the oven and just as I am about to get it in, here comes the cat--bumping me and making me spill some all on the bottom of the oven make it almost a certainty that the fire alarm will go off while it is baking.

The third, the "spicy" pumpkin, is in the oven now and that has seemingly gone smoothly. We will see in about half an hour or so. Again, this confirms my assertion that I am no Rachel Ray.