Feeling a Little Frazzled

Okay, Here's My Deal...

I think that anyone who might read this now knows about my dad's cancer, so I won't be secretive anymore. I was there this weekend--we were all going to go up to celebrate our youngerst son's first birthday early. But, the day we were to leave my mom called upset. She was sick and afraid she might have to go to the hospital and worried about what to do. I went up by myself so I could help out and no one would have to worry about the boys.

Turns out, she did not need to be hospitalized and things were back to "normal" by the next day. SHe still doesn't feel too good, but better. Her cousin and my brother also came up for the day and helped. That was nice. And my husband ROCKED at home while I was gone--He cleaned and caught up laundry and dishes and took super care of the boys!!!!!!!!!!

I am home not feeling too good today, but kept the oldest boy home with me. I am feeling a little better now, but still frazzled. Now I only have three days to get ready for a sub for a week (at least...) while I recover from my gallbladder surgery on Friday of this week. Like I said, the house looks awesome, but I want to get a few more things done before the surgery. I finally get to go see my counselor today, so that will be good, but emotionally draining.

So far, Dad has not indicated what he is going to do or not do as far as treatment. I am fully supportive of whatever he decides, but I wish he would just decide. But, it is his life, his disease and ultimately his death, so I think he deserves all the time he needs to think.

Now, there are some other possible health issues that may come to the forefront with my husband's side of the family...so that is in the back of my mind, too. Just a lot of irons in the fire right now.

My mantra has been the following things from the Word:

1. God has plans for me
2. God works all things for good
3. God is not doing this, but allowing it for an ultimate reason (see above)
4. God doesn't give us more than we can handle
5. God is the Great Healer and Physician
6. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
7. When I am still, God will fight for me

Deep down in my heart, I know all of this...applying it all the time is hard. That is why I ahve an awesome prayer support system of friends from work, church and my life in general. My husband is always awesome too. And it is nice that my brother and his wife are also Christians. So, things will work out--not necessarily how I might want them, but they will work out in the end and I just have to trust that I and everyone else can get through everything with grace and peace in the end.

Better go...laundry and my four year old calls!