Clinging to the Cross

Okay, Here's My Deal...

Jesus, here I am. Where are you? I know you are here, but I just feel so abandoned right now. Father God, I know that I am not perfect, I haven't been in your house for so long, I haven't read your word, I haven't been crying out to you...I just complain about things and I only come when things are rough. Just now I accused you of not being here...when I know you are. You are at the door, waiting--I am just not opening. Why?!?!? Why do I do this? Why do I not ask, seek or knock? How can you draw nigh to me when I won't draw nigh to you?

It's no wonder I am having trouble with discipline in my classes...how can I expect my students to respect me when I can not seem to respect the God that created me, that loves me, that has given me everything?! It's no wonder my health has not been good or that we can't make ends meet or that I can't seem to be happy. I know you are not punishing me, you are not that kind of God...

Holy Spirit, please come to me...you are the comforter, the companion. I need to feel your protection and guidance right now in my life. Help me to be a better child of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher, friend...restore my desire to help myself do all these things. Amen.